Often times, in relationships, we fall into these routines. We go to the same restaurants. We visit the same parks. We even go on vacation to the same places. We end up living our lives the same way, day in and day out because it’s comfortable and it’s easy.
That’s okay! Comfort and routine are a big reason that we enjoy relationships, and can even be a sign that the relationship is strong – because, if you’re both happy and living in comfort with each other, then it may show that you find happiness in each other’s presence.
But even though this comfort can be valuable, there are also many benefits to trying new activities and having new experiences together – benefits that can strengthen an already strong relationship and possibly build the connection of one that has been struggling.
Why Consider New Experiences?
Routine and comfort are comfortable. But one thing they do not do is create memories. If you’ve been to the same restaurant 100 times, you do not remember what the experience was the 57th time you went there. You can’t remember what the food was like on the 39th. You don’t remember the conversations you had on the 81st.
When you have the same experience over and over again, all the times you went there blend together, and eventually you forget the vast majority of your visits and the moments you had with your partner.
But new experiences are different. New experiences:
- Create new memories with your partner. You are much more likely to remember what you and your partner did, how it felt, what you enjoyed, and more. You create more space for your partner in your mind and in your memories, helping them take up even more of your life.
- You build associations. Any time you see the place you had the experience and any time you are reminded of the activity, your partner will be right there in your memory. The more we think about our partner in various settings, the closer we feel to them.
- You open your mind to your partner and see them in a new way. Sharing experiences is a very effective way to both gain more understanding of our partners and open our minds to things that we may not previously have considered.
All of these are things that make your relationship stronger, because they allow you to, quite literally, “build your connection” in your brain between you and your partner.
Strengthening Relationships Through Experiences
There is nothing inherently wrong with comfort and routine. But it is also important to remember that there are reasons that new experiences can be so valuable too. The more new activities and experiences you have together, the more connection you will have to help you feel close to your partner. If you need other ways to build your relationship and your connection, contact Right Path Counseling today for couples therapy on Long Island.
