Sometimes, the terminology we use to describe mental health issues can be confusing for those outside of the mental health world. An example is the word “obsession” as it relates to obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) versus how we use it casually.
Casually, we use that work to talk about things we want or like:
- I’m obsessed with this new movie.
- I have an obsession with my wife.
- I am obsessed with this restaurant, you have to try it!
- I have an obsession with shoes.
When we use the term in this way, we’re talking about things we want – things we desire, and things that we feel a powerful force toward.
But that is not the case with the word “obsessions” as it relates to OCD.
With OCD, obsessions are thoughts we do not want, but we cannot seem to stop. They are, in some ways, the opposite of desires. They’re thoughts that pop into our minds frequently and constantly despite causing us to experience severe distress, and the more we try not to think about them the more we still do.
These are also not thoughts that represent our feelings.
[content note: this example references homophobia]
For example, those with a significant religious background and obsessive compulsive disorder may “obsess” about not being LGBTQ+ because they were unfairly taught it was wrong or immoral. In these cases, the person is *not* LGBTQ+, nor do they have any desire to be. But they experience an obtrusive thought that makes them think “what if.”
Often, their compulsion in these cases, is checking to see if they actually are LGBTQ+ by thinking about members of the same sex, or even viewing adult material. In these cases, the person *has no desire to be with the same sex* but, because they have this intrusive thought, they experience distress that they might be.
Again, what has to be clear is that with OCD, the obsessive thought is not typically a desire. It is only a thought that they, against their will, cannot help but think about.
How to Tell the Difference Between an OCD Obsession and Desire
The way we can tell the difference between the two, besides that a person shares it’s not their desire, is the response. When we desire something, thinking about it typically invokes a positive feeling. That doesn’t mean we have no shame (many sexual fetishes lead to feelings of shame, for example) but the desire itself causes positive emotional responses.
On the other hand, the reaction to an obsession is typically distress. Every time a person experiences the intrusive thought, they are faced with distress that usually leads them to some type of compulsive behavior to try to relieve that stress.
If you feel like you might be struggling with obsessive compulsive disorder, and you have these intrusive thoughts that cause you distress – no matter what they may be – please reach out to Right Path Counseling, today. Let’s talk about what’s causing you to feel this way and take additional steps towards relieving your anxiety, stress, obsessions, and more.
