Psychology is an extensively researched field, so much so that many people argue it should be included in the list of “hard sciences” – sciences that allow researchers to create definitive answers.
Psychotherapy techniques are a part of this research. Many of the strategies we use – CBT, EMDR, etc. – have undergone considerable testing. We know that they work.
But if we know that these strategies work, what makes one therapist different from another, and how you can work with one that will best fit your needs?
How to Determine if Your Therapist is the Right One For You
For illustrative purposes, we are going to focus on one type of therapy. But keep in mind, many forms of therapy go through a similar process.
Now, imagine you’re looking for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and you want to find a therapist that offers this service. Many therapists offer CBT. So how can you determine what makes them different?
Look for:
- Feeling of Connection – You have to feel connected and trusting in your therapist in order to benefit. This is going to be different for different people, but look for someone you feel like you can trust and are willing to listen to the most.
- Expertise in Your Challenges – Some challenges, like anxiety and depression, are commonly supported among most therapists. But others, like ADHD and many trauma related issues, have specialists that focus on that type of problem that provides them with helpful insight.
- Depth of Training – “Offering CBT” does not mean the same thing for every therapist. Some may have attended a single workshop, while others have completed multi-year post-graduate certifications or even supervised clinical training specifically in CBT. Clarifying how they were trained can help you understand the level of rigor behind their practice.
- Treatment Structure – Therapists differ in how structured their sessions are. Some follow a manualized approach with worksheets, measurable goals, and clear session plans. Others integrate CBT techniques into a looser, more conversational style. If you prefer a structured plan with weekly progress markers, asking about session format can save you from frustration later.
- Focus on Skills vs. Insight – Some CBT therapists emphasize practical skills, such as cognitive restructuring or behavioral experiments, where progress can be measured week by week. Others focus more on insight, helping you understand the patterns and origins of your thoughts before changing them. Both approaches are valid, but which one resonates with you will affect how effective the therapy feels.
- Adaptation to Complexity – Standard CBT protocols were originally developed for very specific diagnoses, like depression or panic disorder. Some therapists apply CBT narrowly, sticking to the structured manual. Others adapt CBT more flexibly, integrating it with trauma-informed approaches, mindfulness, or acceptance-based strategies. If you have overlapping concerns (for example, trauma with anxiety), a flexible CBT approach may be more effective.
So, while CBT itself is extensively researched, there are often many individual differences. There is not necessarily a right or wrong. What matters is how it’s resonating with you.
And again, there is far more than just CBT. There is ACT, psychodynamic theory, Gottman, EMDR, etc. While we are focusing on CBT for illustrative purposes, our goal is to show you
How Can You Tell Which Option Is Best for You?
Knowing that therapists differ in how they apply CBT is useful, but the next step is deciding which style will fit you best. This isn’t always obvious at the start, especially since most therapists describe themselves in ways that sound very similar.
It’s also important to remember that what you want and what is best for you may not be the same thing. You may, for example, want a therapist that is a bit more gentle, but you may find that you benefit most from a therapist that is more practical. You may want a therapist that uses less homework and tools, but you may benefit from the accountability.
Again, these are individual differences. The goal is your wellness, and how we approach that can vary depending on your personality, symptoms – even your culture.
There are, however, practical ways to evaluate fit beyond simply “going with your gut.”
- Pay Attention in the First Few Sessions – Most people know within three to four sessions whether they feel comfortable and understood. If you notice you’re holding back, dreading sessions, or feeling like you’re not being heard, that’s useful data that the fit may not be right. It is always good, however, to give therapy a few sessions. Doing so gives you time to experience the therapist and really know with certainty whether the process is right for you.
- Look for Signs of Progress – CBT is designed to create measurable change. That doesn’t mean you’ll feel “better” immediately, but you should start noticing small differences – clearer awareness of your thoughts, new coping tools, or at least a sense that the therapist has a structured plan. If nothing changes after several weeks, it may be a sign that their approach isn’t aligning with your needs.
- Ask Direct Questions – You’re allowed to ask how the therapist structures their sessions, how much homework they give, and how they measure progress. Their answers should be specific, not vague. For example, “I usually set an agenda at the start of each session” is clearer than “I just follow your lead.”
- Match to Your Personality – If you are highly detail-oriented and want structure, you may do better with a therapist who is organized and directive. If you prefer conversation and exploration, you may feel more comfortable with someone who integrates CBT techniques more fluidly. Your personal style matters as much as theirs.
- Notice How Feedback Is Given – Some therapists are very direct, even blunt, in challenging thoughts and behaviors. Others take a softer, more collaborative approach. Pay attention to how you respond emotionally to their feedback. The right style is the one that motivates you to keep working, not the one that leaves you shut down.
Finding the best fit is not about whether the therapist is “good” or “bad.” It’s about whether their way of practicing CBT matches the way you process information, handle accountability, and engage in change. Being deliberate in this evaluation helps ensure that the therapist you choose will be one you can genuinely work with over time.
At Right Path Counseling, we also do not limit you to a single therapist. We have dozens of therapists under our practice, and so – if you find that your therapist isn’t quite meeting your needs – you can see another therapist and still have similar continuity in terms of location, billing, and more. That can help you continue to feel comfortable as you find the therapist that is best for you.
